Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
