I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize