kristin has been a bad kristin
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
