all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
