I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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