I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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