How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
