hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
