She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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