"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm at about main and main street
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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