He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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