I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
