idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
