There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
