I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
