ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
