so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
