How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
