I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
