do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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