Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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