I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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