Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I will pee on everything he values.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
