I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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