I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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