you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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