Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
