Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
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The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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