The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
