i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
you made out with another girl for some wings
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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