Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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