At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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