Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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