I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
