Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
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