i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I need a beard to bite.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
