Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
