If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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