Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
