i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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