my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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