Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
