I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
