I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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