"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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