Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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