oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
