Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
