She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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