The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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