does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
