Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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