I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
