God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wish i was in the wii world.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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