ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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