Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
