do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
