It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I smell like Dick and happiness
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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