DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
