idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You ruined the universe
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
