Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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