it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
