Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
