a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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