So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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