I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
