dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
